Nicknames come about in different ways under different circumstances. In the world of sports, nicknames are typically given for one of three reasons: (1) The way you play (2) The way you act (3) The way you look That’s pretty much it. Often times they can be endearing, but sometimes they can be demeaning. In order for a nickname to stick, though, it must fit.
Over the years, the Los Angeles Lakers have fostered some of the most famous nicknames in all of sports. It’s time we breakdown the ten best monikers in Lakers team history.
Before we dig in, we should touch on some ground rules for nicknames to make the Top 10:
RULE #1: Nicknames must be powerful enough to garner stand alone recognition. If we can replace your given name with your nickname in casual conversation without missing a beat, then you qualify.
RULE #2: Nicknames must make sense, meaning you must embody the characteristics of your nickname. Going a step further, the nickname must be earned. In this day and age, it seems everyone is given a nickname just for the sake of having one. Example: Pundits everywhere have called LeBron James “King James” for a decade just because it’s historically ironic. Sorry LeBron, but I will only refer to you as King when you earn it. Until someone can prove otherwise, the REIGNING KING of the NBA resides in sunny Southern California (and will be here for another 3 years thanks to his shiny new extension).
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RULE #3: Nearly 99.9% of the time, the nickname must be given to you. Only under rare circumstances will someone actually be powerful enough to give themselves a nickname and have it stick. For most of you mere mortals, giving yourself a nickname just winds up making you look like a fool. You cannot simply decide to change your screen name to “PapaLove34” and start signing your emails P. Love because the mood strikes you. On second thought, if you really want to go down that path then go ahead and give it the old college try. Who am I to stand in the way of humiliation?
RULE #4: Only the primary nickname qualifies. Secondary nicknames are awesome, but sorry folks, we’re only accepting one. That said, the question then becomes: How do we define primary nicknames? The answer is simple: I do. Don’t like it? Write your own column. Without further ado, here are the Top 10 Greatest Nicknames in Lakers Team History.
Next: Let’s Begin with Number 10
You thought we could have a Top 10 Lakers list and NOT include The Mamba? Child please.
Kobe Bryant managed to accomplish the rare feat of giving yourself a nickname that actually sticks. When I first heard that members of Kobe’s “inner circle” called him “The Black Mamba”, I almost fell out of my chair laughing. This had to be a joke right?
No one really referred to another human being as “Mamba”, did they? Am I supposed to believe that Kobe and his crew were sitting around playing X-Box one day when suddenly one of his boys blurted out: “Damn Kobe that was sick! (wait for it) Sick like a Black Mamba!”
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Honestly, how many of us had to Google the term Black Mamba to realize exactly what the hell Kobe was talking about? At the time, I didn’t think anyone not named Quentin Tarantino had actually ever seen one. It gets even funnier when you hear Kobe describe it: “’The Mamba can strike with 99 percent accuracy at maximum speed, in rapid succession. That’s the kind of basketball precision I want to have. Not being able to train the last two summers, I was in a gunfight with a rusty butter knife. I did my share of killing, but I was just fighting to survive.” Not only was this one of the most incredible moments of unintentional comedy in the last decade, but the irony behind the nickname is truly extraordinary. You’d think his handlers might have advised him against it, but with a trial for sexual assault looming Kobe Bryant’s PR team did nothing to keep this quiet.
I’m no PR expert, but aren’t these people paid to make sure their clients currently awaiting trial for sex crimes don’t start publicly comparing themselves to deadly serpents? Isn’t that career suicide? That would be like Tiger Woods changing his name to I.M.A. Cheetah and hoping everything will just blow over. All this talk makes me wonder why I don’t own a Black Mamba T-Shirt. I’m going on eBay right now.
Next: So Fine with Number 9
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No player was as consistent for as long as Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. He ranked in the top 5 in MVP voting a ridiculous 15 different times. He was an All Star 19 times. He won NBA Finals MVP Awards with virtually identical numbers in 1971 and again in 1985. He was named 1st Team All-NBA for the first time in 1971, and for the last time in 1986. I know this is a lot to digest but think about that for a minute, the man was named the best player at his position fifteen years apart. Has there ever been a player at the top of his game who essentially peaked for 15 straight years? Has there ever been a better team captain?
Next: The Great Number 8
Only with the Lakers for two and a half short years, Sam Perkins made the most of his short tenure in LA. He showed up at the Great Western Forum after Lakers Legend Kareem Abdul-Jabbar had retired to share duties at the center position with a young Vlade Divac. Vlade may have been the starting center, but when the game was on the line big Sam Perkins was in. With his sweet and effortless shooting stroke, Sam was a rare big man who could step outside and knock down a big shot. So when he drained the game winning 3 pointer in Game 1 of the 1991 NBA Finals, no one was really surprised.
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For a mellow dude who always appeared to be stoned out of his mind, Sam Perkins seemingly had enough brain cells left to show up big in crunch time. Maybe his time spent down on Tobacco Road with Mike Jordan and James Worthy rubbed off on him, but at some point Sam Perkins became a big time clutch player. That’s why he earned the coolest nickname in Laker History, The Big Smooth.
Next: In Heaven with No. Seven
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It was also James Worthy who snagged the game clinching steal after Michael Jordan’s big shot. Worthy carried this play over to the NBA, where his star shined the brightest in the biggest games. In Game 7 of the 1988 NBA Finals, the Lakers edged the Pistons to win their 2nd consecutive title and 5th championship of the decade. Without the MVP performance of James Worthy (36 points, 16 rebounds, 10 assists), the Lakers have no shot to repeat. Needless to say, Big Game James definitely earned his nickname.
Next: Next: Get your Kicks with No. Six
#6 – Hot Rod Known for his skillful dribbling and aggressive style of play, Rodney Hundley was dubbed “Hot Rod” while he played college ball at the University of West Virginia. When he entered the NBA, he earned the nickname “Hot Rod” for an entirely different reason. A legendary partier in the late 50s and early 60s, Hot Rod had the coolest double entendre of a nickname this side of Magic Johnson (Too soon? Come one, he’s alive people).
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Hot Rod parlayed his status on the basketball court into a certain celebrity with the ladies, where he would spend many a night chasing skirts around Minneapolis like it was going out of style. Apparently his partying was so out of control that it had a negative effect on his performance on the court. Wait, you mean to tell me that aggressive boozing with women until dawn several times a week will effect your game? You don’t say! Noted sports writer Roland Lazenby recounts this tale in his biography, “Jerry West, The Life And Legend Of A Basketball Icon,”
Team owner Bob Short soon realized he had a real rounder on his hands. Hundley would head out to the bars almost every night to carouse and enjoy the secretaries and professional ladies of Minnesota. Short watched as Hundley’s off-court activities sapped the young star’s strength and hurt his performances. Finally the owner went to Hundley, begged him to stay in his room after games and even offered to bring prostitutes to his room so that he could ‘take care of his business’ and then get the proper rest. Hundley refused the owner’s prostitute offer. ‘The thrill is in the chase, baby,’ the player told the owner.
Hot Rod Hundley, ladies and gentleman! My man.
Next: Feeling Alive with No. 5
Superman. The Big Aristotle. M.D.E. (Most Dominant Ever). L.C.L. (Last Center Left). The Big Shakespeare. Wilt Chamberneezy. Officer Shaq. The Big Deporter. Shaq Daddy. Shaq-Fu. Big Daddy. The Big Baryshnikov. Dr. Shaq. Osama Bin Shaq. The Big Cactus. Whatever you call him, you can’t escape the power and personality that is Shaquille O’Neal. When he arrived in Lakerland during the summer of 1996, he had the entire city of Los Angeles in the massive palm of his hand.
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Over the years he gave himself so many nicknames that we lost count, but the enduring image of Shaq smashing through opposing centers like a Mack Truck leaves us longing for his greatest moniker: The Diesel. No other player in professional sports has physically manhandled an entire league the way Shaquille O’Neal did from 1999 to 2005. In his prime, he was a force of nature the likes the NBA has never seen before. He was 350 pounds yet somehow seemed light on his feet. He abused opposing centers with reckless abandon.
He celebrated his 28th birthday with a ridiculous 61 point-23 rebound performance that stands as one of the most dominant games in league history. He was Wilt Chamberlain and Darryl Dawkins rolled into one. He ripped rims right out of the backboard like the Incredible Hulk. He was nothing short of superhuman when the Lakers needed him most. He was the Diesel, and we’ll never see a force quite like him again.
Next: The Lore of Number 4
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That’s Big Shot Rob you’re talking about, you better read a paper or something. (NOTE: Some people prefer the name Big Shot Bob. Apparently Robert Horry hates the name Bob, and while the alliteration with Big Shot Bob is nice, if it’s not cool with Rob, it’s not cool with me. Let’s move on.)
Next: We check out Number 3 
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Before the multi-million dollar contracts. Before Wilt, Russell or Kareem. Before the advent of the shot clock. Before all the national TV contracts. Before pretty much everything, there was George Mikan: the NBA’s first superstar. He stood tall at 6-10 and dominated the league with an unmatched blend of size, speed and strength. Teams would send two, three and sometimes four men at big George, but still they couldn’t stop him. After leading the Lakers to 5 Championships in 7 years, Mikan’s dominance forced the league to reevaluate some of their rules to even out the playing field. His play directly resulted in widening the lane from 6 feet to 12 feet and outlawing defensive rebounding. I’ll say it again, I guess that’s why they called him Mr. Basketball.
Next: You have a Clue who is Number 2?
Jerry West was an All-Star in each of his 14 NBA seasons. He was a member of the 1st Team All-NBA 10 times. He led the Lakers to the NBA Finals 9 separate seasons, coming up short all but once. He remains the only player to win the NBA Finals MVP trophy for the losing team. He hit one of the league’s most famous baskets of all time, a 60-foot heave at the buzzer to send Game 3 of the 1970 NBA Finals into overtime in a game and series they would ultimately lose.
His obsessive quest for perfection drove him insane as he suffered many sleepless nights replaying what he could have done better, what he could have done to win. Winning was everything to Jerry West. He wasn’t the fastest, strongest or biggest player on the court, but none of that seemed to matter. People often throw around the term “will to win” in describing an intangible trait true leaders possess. Well Jerry West is the man who stamped a patent on the term will to win.
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No one wanted to win as badly as Jerry West, and moreover, no one dreaded the thought of losing more than the man who would one day embody the logo of the league he loves so much. He finally ascended to the top of the NBA with his lone championship in 1972. That team ranks among the greatest teams ever assembled, a testament to the work ethic and pride of Jerry West. That year his Lakers ran off 33 wins in a row, a record that still stands today as the most consecutive wins in professional sports. As a player he was known as Mr. Clutch, as sure a 2 points in crunch time as there’s ever been. As a GM he is widely regarded as the smartest basketball mind of any generation.
When he speaks, we listen. In 1971, the NBA adopted a new logo: a white silhouette of one Jerry West in a red and blue box. Some people know him as “Zeke from Cabin Creek”, most people know him as Mr. Clutch, but everyone who has ever followed basketball knows him as The Logo.
Next: Nothing like Being No. 1
Earvin Johnson had just completed his first basketball masterpiece: a spellbinding 36-point, 16-rebound, 16-assist display the media couldn’t ignore. A sportswriter who witnessed Earvin’s display of basketball dominance instantly fell in love, dubbing him “Magic”.
Young Earvin was just 15 years old.
These results came as no surprise to Earvin, who had obsessively practiced since he was old enough to hold a ball. Walking to school as a youngster, he would dribble with his right hand on the entire way there and use only his left hand to dribble the whole way back. Most mornings he would be out on the blacktop refining his game at the local courts by 7:30am . With that kind of dedication, he was destined to be Magic.
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Earvin’s mother, a devout Christian, didn’t care for the name. She thought calling her son Magic was blasphemous and vehemently dismissed the moniker as such. Unfortunately for Mrs. Johnson, young Earvin’s performances only got better and his new nickname wasn’t going anywhere.
His high school team finished with a 27-1 record his senior year, behind 28.8 points and 16.8 rebounds per game from the Magic Man en route to a State Title. Two years later the legend of Magic Johnson went national, as he led his Michigan State Spartans to the NCAA title game where he demoralized Larry Bird’s under matched Indiana State team.
When he was taken Number 1 overall in the NBA Draft by the Lakers, not much changed. His outgoing personality and contagious smile captured the hearts of people across Los Angeles. He brought with him a type of basketball that was beautiful and fluid, deftly blending teamwork and showmanship in what would be known as Showtime.
As a rookie his Lakers teammates called him “Young Buck”, as his enthusiasm for the game was sometimes over the top. With an unprecedented passing skill for a man his size, Magic led the Lakers to 9 NBA Finals appearances in 12 years, 5 times ending the season as NBA Champions.
In what goes down as the greatest playoff performance of all time, then 19 year old rookie point guard Magic Johnson played the deciding game of the Finals at the center position. Filling in for his injured team captain and league MVP Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Magic was nothing short of breathtaking. He carved up the Philadelphia 76ers and their top rated defense to the tune of 42 points, 15 rebounds, seven assists, three steals and a block.
After the game, an awe inspired Julius Erving sat by stunned. “It was amazing, just amazing,” he said.
No Dr. J, it was Magic.
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Don’t forget to leave a comment if you think we forgot any favorite Laker nicknames!