With all due respect to Dwight Howard and the Orlando Magic, I want to spend a minute to focus on the two most interesting teams in the Eastern Conference. As a basketball fan, the Celtics-Cavs second round series brings us a level of intrigue and excitement that is suspiciously absent from our current Lakers-Jazz match-up.
It also presents a dilemma for Lakers fans across the nation: Who do we root for?
The Boston Celtics and their deplorable fan-base represent everything wrong with basketball. I hate the Celtics with more vigor that any other sports team in existence. I’m not alone, either. Lakers fans hold more contempt for the Celtics than they do for the Pistons, Jazz, Blazers, Kings, and Suns combined. From our basketball product to our way of life, Boston and LA simply couldn’t be more different. But that is what makes our rivalry so beautiful. We almost enjoy watching the Boston Celtics lose as much as we enjoy watching the Lakers win.
Almost…
Then we have the Cleveland Cavaliers, a perennial doormat of a franchise. When we think Cleveland basketball, we think of them losing. The Shot. The Shot Part II. Ricky Davis and his “triple double”. Of course all that changed in 2003, when they won the lottery of lotteries and acquired the services of LeBron James. “The Chosen One”, as they call him, is the only man on the planet capable of going toe-to-toe with Lakers’ superstar Kobe Bryant. For a decade Kobe has ruled the court without a rival, but it finally looks like a worthy adversary has arrived.
As a Lakers fan I must admit, this is all a bit unsettling. The Iversons, Carters, McGradys, and Wades have come and gone, with Bryant emerging victorious in every case. The James Gang, however, is another story.
A different animal.
A worthy contender.
The media has crowned him King of the NBA for years, and this year he is supposed to win his first title to prove the coronation wasn’t premature. Everything was on schedule until Game 2 against Boston. Now Lebron has his hands full with the Celtics.
By now most of us have heard the rumors that Lakers fans are actually (gasp) rooting for the Boston Celtics to defeat the Cleveland Cavaliers in the Eastern Conference Playoffs. The reason, of course, is because Lakers fans are “afraid” of LeBron and his Cavs. While a small minority may feel that way, it’s certainly not the case for me. In a perfect world, the Boston Celtics and Cleveland Cavaliers would play 7 hard fought games with the winner limping their way into the Eastern Conference Finals.
When I woke up this morning I didn’t care who wins the series, just as long as it isn’t easy.
But all that changed with an email I read from a die-hard Cleveland fan this morning.
Next: Here’s a peak into the conversation that changed everything:
Here’s a peak into the conversation that changed everything:
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From: Me [mailto:me@xxx.com]
Sent: Friday, May 07, 2010 9:06 AM
To: Him
Subject: How…
…worried are you about tonight’s game?
Me
At this point I don’t really know what to expect from his response. I just know that if I were him, I’d be worried after the witnessing the bomb Boston dropped on the Cavs in Game 2. I couldn’t be happier with his response. What he gave me was gold (Gold, Jerry. Pure gold!).
His retort:
From: Him [mailto:him@xxx.com]
Sent: Friday, May 07, 2010 9:47 AM
To: Me
Subject: RE: How…
If they lose, it is not the end of the series as taking 1 of 2 games in Boston is all that is really required. That is truth. Bottom line.
That being said, imagine this basketball season for the Cavs as a planet much like earth. It has been green. It has prospered for months now. There have been small natural disasters, (Shaq’s injury, Delonte West’s gun charges, etc.) but the world has also proven fruitful (James, Jamison, best record in the league, etc.).
So this planet has moved along well until Game 2 against Boston, which was (in regards to this metaphor) a volcanic eruption much like the one that destroyed Pompeii. In the hardened lava you will find Cavs fans standing mouth open not expecting the sudden lava flow that has engulfed and destroyed them (even though the city was built under a volcano).
But that is just one city. One natural disaster, these things they happen.
A loss tonight in Game 3 would be a major city going down – think Hiroshima in WWII. A loss tonight AND on Sunday… well then we move to the brink of anarchy in all major cities. Power is barely on and there are riots and destruction engulfing the major populations of the world as hope becomes a dying ideal.
One more loss (in either Game 5 or 6) and LBJ will probably leave town (my guess is to Chicago which would make that team a threat for numerous title runs for years to come) and my once lovely planet becomes like the planet in the movie “The Road”: Essentially covered in ash and death. The few people left will be resorting to cannibalism, eating babies cooked over BBQ pits and knowing that their only real future is death (just like the planets of the Sacramento Kings, Golden State Warrior, Indiana Pacers, Cleveland Indians, and of course, the Oakland Raiders).
Now I like my planet and I don’t want to see it become the Pluto of the NBA, far away from the sun that is ESPN/TNT. I can’t deal with no more national games, no more SportsCenter, becoming just another team that people make fun of when talking about actual contenders. I live on other planets just like this. I have watched planets die like this before (see all other Cleveland planets) and it makes me want to quit watching sports.
So to sum up, there are bigger games ahead, but a win tonight would be a step towards saving my planet and bringing a future that will be remembered and written about.
And yes I am very worried. If you lived on the planets I have lived on, you would be worried too.
Kind regards,
Him
This is truly an amazing and insightful email that gave me a view from his side of the fence, which was submerged by my own narcissism and something I had never considered. I had written their fan-base off as ridiculous idol worshipers who personified the arrogance of their leader.
Nothing more, nothing less.
What I found was a tormented fan-base scared to death that their leader will leave town if they don’t win, and win now. This sense of urgency will obviously come to a crescendo in Game 5 should they go back to Cleveland down 3-1.
Needless to say, I was inspired by his analogy. But I found the metaphor incomplete, and I couldn’t help myself.
Next: My response:
[phpbay]Kobe Lebron, 3[/phpbay]And my response:
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From: Me [mailto:me@xxx.com]
Sent: Friday, May 07, 2010 9:47 AM
To: Him
Subject: RE: How…
That was fantastic. Great analogy and a fantastic read.
You know what the sad thing is?
The poor people on Planet Cavaliers have no idea that in outer space, not yet visible to the naked eye, is a meteor unlike anything they have ever encountered. Only a month ago this barely visible spec in the sky was once seen as an afterthought, something thought of as incapable of reaching their planet. Something they quickly dismissed.
What they have yet to realize is this meteor controls the fate of their entire existence.
What they can’t yet see is with each passing day this meteor rapidly gains speed and grows infinitely stronger.
As it pushes closer and closer to their once prosperous planet, it starts to come into view. At first only those with a trained eye will realize it’s there, but as it picks up steam it will be impossible to ignore.
While the people on Planet Cavaliers try to recover from a volcanic eruption (Boston) and prepare for a potential hurricane (Orlando), they have no idea that none of it matters. If they manage to get through those disasters alive, all of the work put into picking up the pieces will seem trivial.
At the end of the day, their planet is already doomed. It’s too late. Armageddon is close.
The meteor is now on a collision course with their planet and Bruce Willis or Ben Affleck are not there to save the day. This ain’t the movies, dogg.
Nothing can stop the meteor now. It’s been traveling for too long. It has too much momentum. It’s simply too strong now.
That meteor is the Los Angeles Lakers.
And Planet Cavaliers can’t imagine the devastation it’s capable of.
Me
Was my response a bit much? A little over the top? Way more dramatic than it needed to be?
Yes, yes and yes. But this is the playoffs, you should expect nothing less.
Looking back on our email chain, I don’t think we could epitomize the two fan bases any more succinctly if we tried. Their unbridled fear of extinction. Our blatant conceit and overconfidence.
Maybe they are a worthy foil after all.
Which brings us back to the question at hand: Who should we root for?
The Cleveland fan-base is on the verge of extinction, which makes them dangerous. The crowd will cheer louder than they ever have to let LeBron know he belongs in Cleveland. If things look grim, they could potentially lift him and his (seemingly) mangled elbow up off the mat like a boxer as the count reaches 8. They have the team with the best record in the league. They have the player with the MVP trophy. They will undoubtedly be the more difficult foe.
They have the team I want to face in the NBA Finals.
Bring it on, Cleveland.
Bring it on.
[phpbay]Kobe Lebron, 3[/phpbay]