We marvel at the player’s freakish athletic ability.
We’re astonished by their physical presence on the court.
We are dazzled by the highlight plays that we then try to mimic but can’t come close to replicating such as the ankle breaking cross-overs, no look passes and tomahawk dunks.
We are entertained by the pace and grace of the game.
When looking at the players natural talents displayed on the court you can see how they are one of the few in this world that are born to play this game.
We then become befuddled when these same players decide to dabble in areas outside of basketball where their abilities and talents don’t translate as well or at all.
With the regular season winding down and playoff positioning races about to heat up I thought it would be fun to take a breather from the intense NBA action that will consume us and take a stab at some levity by looking back at some of the most questionable and/or embarrassing ventures outside of basketball by Laker players in history.
httpvhd://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCTx6K3Irag
Shick Commercial
There are a few things I came away with from watching this commercial. One, I think AC made a horrible mistake swapping the gheri curl for the high flat top. Two, why cant my eyes stop following the arrows on Mychal Thompson’s sweater? Third and lastly, Vlade’s English never got much better as he sounds pretty much the same now as he did in this 1990 Shick commercial.
This actually was a pretty nice gig for the three guys who weren’t the big marketable stars like a Magic Johnson on the Laker squad. Still, 22 years later you have to figure the stars of this commercial would be pretty embarrassed at the corny dialogue and late 90s fashions.
httpvhd://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkBpBXqvQV8
Rick Fox on Dancing with the Stars
I don t know if it’s the bright form fitting dance outfits, the choreographed dance off where Kurt Warner and Foxy are supposed be in some heated battle with each other or my personal problem with men doing anything more than the two step/side to side move on the dance floor. Actually, I do know and it’s a problem with all of them.
Rick Fox is dating young Hollywood beauty Eliza Dushku so his appearance on Dancing with the Stars has obviously not hurt his game off the court.
When the highlight of your movie career is appearing in a Tom Green movie titled “Freddy Got Fingered” its safe to say your movie career was a complete and utter failure. Shaq’s other gems were playing a genie that pops out of a boombox in Kazaam and a weapon designer who turns tin box superhero in Steel. I actually have an easier time believing Shaq being a magical genie than I do him being a designer of high tech weaponry.
Steel and Kazaam were both box office flops which understandably led to Shaq not receiving any more starring roles in movies.
httpvhd://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wk9Ap4nBiOM
Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian with Unbreakable
The idea that a scent can potentially remind me of both my soft skinned, sexy girlfriend and my sweaty and bearded friend Bruce who likes to scratch his belly button is repulsive.
There is just a whole bunch of wrong here.
There is no such thing as a perfect mix of masculine and feminine as Odom proclaims; they are complete opposites that should not be intermingling with each other.
There is no beauty in something that can not exist without the other as this ad claims. It’s actually quite depressing that my life would be completely dependent on some other person like I was strapped to some life support machine.
The early reports on this unisex cologne are that sales are good. That could be due to the novelty of the item and the notoriety of the pitchmen. However, I fully expect for this colognes shelf life to be short, and once gone I can un-break the image of Lamar and Khloe gazing into each others eyes in a goofy fashion.
Next: Say it ain’t so K.O.B.E.
httpvhd://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpzJgLzzX38&playnext=1&list=PLD3AB6DDA4E052336
Kobe raps?
I can’t believe this is the same guy that dunked on Yao Ming and Dwight Howard with such ferocity. He barely missed when he scored 81 points in a game but bricked on every verse and hook in this rap song.
What the heck is on his head? Cheetah skin? Really? Was that in style at one time and me and my friends were the odd ones standing out with just regular ball caps at that time?
The least that could have been done here to help out a young rapper in over his head was place him with an experienced female singer/rapper like Mary J. Blige or Queen Latifah. Instead they paired him with supermodel turned first time singer Tyra Banks who was equally horrid in her debut.
I know the quality of the video above is poor but trust me, I saw it live and it doesn’t get any better. It was just plain awful.
The Italian portion of the rap was actually pretty impressive but that could just be that I don’t know what the heck he was saying. If it’s anything like the English lyrical mess I would have to take that back.
Fortunately for all Laker fans and people with the ability to hear sound, after this 2000 release of the song K.O.B.E., both Kobe and Tyra Banks retired from the music industry.
Next: A great smile can go a long way, but not that far.
httpvhd://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAtmgxwBUQg
Magic Johnson with The Magic Hour
It seemed like a perfect match; Magic’s infectious personality, great smile who’s flashy game was leading the glitz and glamour Showtime Laker teams of the 80’s and you combine that with the Hollywood stars and starlets in a one hour interview show. The problem was that Magic’s personality didn’t translate well in this interview format. From the outset he was noticeably uncomfortable and lacked comedic timing which led to many awkward moments on screen. The only thing that seemed to work was when edgy radio show host Howard Stern appeared as a guest and basically took over the show.
It was quite possibly the biggest disaster in late night TV show history and that is saying something with such abominations as The Chevy Chase Show and Listen Up! with Charles Barkley.
The show was mercifully cancelled 8 weeks after its debut. Magic went on to have immense success as a business man but luckily for everyone he stayed away from venturing in the entertainment business again.
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